As a licensed death care professional for 30 years , i find that giving people enough time to make decisions is the key. Just because someone died last night, does not mean you have to bury him tomorrow! Let other family members get in on what to do (but not too many lest the planning go on for days). Having the minister sit in on the arrangements gives the family a sense of comfort, and really helps keep everyone honest! And call around, if you are suspicious of being double talked, you CAN have the deceased taken somewhere else.