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$500 a minute

Get out a Phillips head screwdriver. Now unscrew a couple of hooks holding up pictures in your living room. Now put them back. That probably took you less than two minutes. How much would you pay someone to do it for you? 

Sacramento Memorial Lawn (say it with me: “Which lawn are your parents buried in?”) thinks it deserves $500 a minute to do the same job. It’s extra-sensitive work, see, because they’re taking the faceplate off a columbarium niche to retrieve your (cue organ music in a grim minor key) loved one’s remains. 

Watch this report from the local CBS affiliate. .  .some guy on the cemetery staff actually shows it takes less than two minutes by demonstrating it! The woman featured in the story wanted to take her father’s ashes back to a family burial spot on her own property and couldn’t believe it when the cemetery lawn wanted $1,026. 

 

Bonus!—Now you never have to ask a Memorial Lawn to help again, because you’re a DIY Memorialitarian!

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