My mother was buried two months ago in a snow covered cemetery that required plowing and machinery and a great deal of fuss and it was horrible . I wish I hadn’t gone to see her coffin dropped into that muddy water filled hole in the snow. Also, I was stunned to see how unlike herself she was in death. I thought I would “see her one last time” at the viewing but.. She was clearly gone. Her beautiful full lips were pinched and unrecognizable and the makeup was unlike what she chose in life . I have wondered since if the embalmers do something strange to the mouth.. Sew it shut perhaps .? They must do something because she looked so utterly different . I am haunted by her sudden death two weeks after surgery and can’t get images of her demise and her funeral out of my mind . Also I have been thrown into a sort of spiritual crisis asking my friends .. Where has she gone? Her personality was so fierce .. It seems impossible that all that psychic energy could just vanish. Is it recycled somewhere . And what’s the deal with her lips being so strange . Was he just a lousy embalmer .